We Were Lost (A Southern Heroes Novel Book 5) Read online

  Copyright © 2015 by M.A. Heard.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical reviews and various other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  The resemblance to actual persons, things, living or dead, locales or events is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Designer: Sybil Wilson, PopKitty Design

  Cover Model: Daniel Rengering

  Photographer Credit: Christopher John

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  WARNING

  DEDICATION

  SONGLIST

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  EPILOGUE

  SOUTHERN HEROES SERIES

  COMING SOON…

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  WARNING

  Please note:

  Chloe is South African, and her native tongue is Afrikaans. There are times in the book where she will think and talk in Afrikaans, but the English translation will immediately follow so you will be able to understand.

  This book contains sensitive scenes which may be upsetting to some readers.

  DEDICATION

  To my readers who waited so long for this final book in this series.

  Thank you for your endless support.

  SONGLIST

  Love Me Anyway – Pink ft. Chris Stapleton

  Happier – Marshmallow ft. Bastille

  Southern Skies – Like A Storm

  ‘I don’t fear commitment.

  I fear being abandoned

  after giving you my heart.’

  PROLOGUE

  Zac

  (4 years ago…)

  “Should I grab take-out for dinner?” Laurie asks as she comes to stand in front of my desk. Her beautiful grey eyes smile down at me, filled with love, and I’m once again reminded how blessed I am to call this woman my wife.

  I get up and wrapping my arms around her slender waist, I pull her close to me. “Sure. I’m just finishin’ up some paperwork then I’ll head home.”

  She wraps her arms around my neck and stretching her petite body up, she presses a kiss to my mouth.

  “Not in the office,” Captain Harris calls out as he walks toward his office. I catch him smiling before he disappears inside.

  I met the woman of my dreams in this very precinct four years ago. I never believed in love at first sight until I laid eyes on Laurie Holden. The moment I saw her my world stopped and when it started again, Laurie became the axis it turned around.

  We eloped three weeks after meeting each other, and not a day has gone by where I haven’t been thankful for the miracle.

  “What do you feel like eatin’?” she asks and stepping back, she positions the strap of her bag over her shoulder.

  “Tacos?”

  A wide smile brightens her face. “Because you love me?” she teases. Laurie’s addicted to tacos.

  Wrapping one arm around her waist, I pull her back to my chest. Pressing my lips against hers, I whisper, “’Cause I love you the most.”

  She wags her eyebrows at me. “You keep sweet talkin’ me like that, and you might just get lucky tonight, Detective Hutches.”

  I grin down at her, loving the sound of my new title on her lips.

  She tilts her head to the side, which is something the whole Holden family does when they have something serious to say. “I’m proud of you. You deserve it, Babe.”

  “It’s all because of your support.” Kissing her one last time, I let her go.

  “You ready?” Aiden asks when he comes back from using the restroom. Not only is Laurie the perfect wife, but I struck gold when I got the Holden’s for in-laws. Aiden and Wyatt are not only my brothers-in-law but also my best friends.

  “Yeah.”

  I sit back down and with a content smile on my face, I watch as Laurie and her twin brother walk toward the exit. Just before they head out of the building, Laurie turns around and yells, “Detective Hutches.”

  “Yeah?” I struggle to hold back my laughter as endless happiness fills my chest.

  “I love you.”

  The officers around us begin to laugh, and some even clap their hands.

  “I love you too.”

  My eyes follow Laurie and Aiden until they get into Aiden’s car.

  I bring my attention back to the paperwork in front of me and manage to complete most of it before my father-in-law sits down on the edge of my desk. “We’re havin’ a BBQ this Saturday to celebrate your promotion.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “You gonna head home any time soon?” he asks.

  “Yeah.” I glance at my watch and notice that thirty minutes have passed since Laurie left. If I go now, the tacos should still be warm when I get home.

  Standing up, I glance over my desk one last time. “You headin’ out too?”

  “Yeah. Let’s walk together.”

  I come from a family where everything is always filled with tension. The Holden’s are the total opposite and down-to-earth. Hell, it feels more natural to call Mr. Holden dad than my father.

  We greet a couple of officers on our way out of the precinct and walk to where our cars are parked.

  “See ya tomorrow,” I say as Dad stops at his car.

  He waves a hand at me as his phone starts to ring. When I reach my car, and I’m about to open the door, Dad calls out, “Zac! We need to head over to the hospital.”

  With a frown, I turn back to him and watch as he jogs the short distance between us.

  “Why?” I ask as he reaches me. It’s only then I notice the worried look on his face.

  He sucks in some air, and for a moment it looks like he’s about to cry before he manages to pull himself together.

  Worry begins to spin its web in my chest as a second ticks by.

  “There was…” Dad pauses, and it looks like he’s struggling to comprehend something. “Aiden and Laurie have been rushed to the emergency room. They were shot.”

  Another second passes between us, but it feels much longer. Dad’s words slowly creep into my consciousness until it fills every corner of my mind.

  Disbelief is the first feeling to grip my heart.

  There must be a mistake. They were heading home. They weren’t on duty.

  (Chloe is South African, and her native tongue is Afrikaans. There are times in the book where she will think and talk in Afrikaans, but the English translation will immediately follow so you will be able to understand.)

  Chloe

  (Present Day…)

  My eyes skip from one photo to the next, every now and then resting on Mom’s smiling face.

  I have the same honey brown curls and doe brown eyes as Mom. Looking at her once happy face as she stares into Dad’s eyes, I wonder if I’ll ever smile like that at a man.

  Yeah,
probably right before he breaks my heart the way Dad broke Mom’s.

  It’s hard to believe they were in love once.

  Carefree, with only eyes for each other.

  That was until Dad’s eyes began wandering. I can’t remember precisely when things started to change. At first, Dad began to spend more time on his phone, especially late at night and during the early morning hours. But then it gradually progressed until he’d spend very little time with us.

  I don’t know how many women there were before we found out he was cheating on Mom, but I’ll never forget the day we caught him.

  It was windy, like most days in Cape Town. Water restrictions were at an all-time high, and everyone was praying for rain. It’s what I remember clearest because it reminded me of Mom. Affection from Dad was rare and more than once I found Mom on her knees, praying for Dad to love her again.

  Only one prayer was answered last winter. Cape Town got a shitload of rain, causing floods and chaos.

  And Dad left, causing a flood of tears and heartbreak.

  I had been living on my own for a year, and just had lunch with Mom. I stopped outside my parent’s home to drop Mom off when we saw the strange car parked out front. Actually, it was an average car, nothing strange about it except that neither of us recognized it.

  Mom wanted to give me some fruit because she bought too much, so I followed her inside the house.

  I don’t know what shocked me more. The sight of my father cheating on my mother, or because there were two half-naked women draped over him.

  As I helped Mom pack her things so she could come stay with me for a while, I realized Dad wasn’t the man I thought he was. It was a life-altering moment for both my mom and I. When I was little, my entire world rested on Dad’s broad shoulders, only to grow up and realize he was just like any other man. A cheating bastard who didn’t care about anyone else but himself.

  Late November I learned the harsh fact that love can actually kill when after a couple of months of fading away, Mom gave up on living.

  Since Mom’s funeral, I’ve only spoken to Dad once. Actually, we didn’t speak, we tore into each other like animals. There was nothing left of the father and daughter relationship we once shared.

  By the time we went our separate ways, every drop of love I ever felt for him was replaced with bitterness and hatred.

  I once heard someone say that hatred is a form of love. You can’t hate someone unless you once loved them. The thought leaves me feeling sad and lost.

  Is love such a good thing then?

  In the space of a couple of months, I lost both my parents. My best friend, Emma, was on the other side of the damn planet. My flat only held memories of the heartbreak which took my mom to her grave.

  I was alone.

  I cover the box containing all our family photos and seal it before carrying it over to where the rest of the boxes are.

  Looking at the eight boxes which hold my childhood memories and everything Mom owned, my heart feels sluggish and empty.

  I glance through my flat, knowing it’s time to pack my own things. I’m leaving South Africa on the late-night flight this coming Thursday to visit Emma in America. After that, I’ll just pick a random country and travel the world, because South Africa sure doesn’t feel like home anymore.

  I close my eyes as the lonely feeling inside my chest intensifies until it physically hurts.

  Is this what Mom felt before she died?

  CHAPTER 1

  Zac

  I shove a hand through my hair as I stare down at the scattered papers on my desk.

  “How the hell am I going to catch you?” I grumble, scanning over all the information I have on Pastor Doug Liles. I’ve been working this case for over a year, and almost had him, but he got away because we didn’t have enough evidence to put him behind bars.

  Waylon Roberts, the mastermind behind the whole drug operation, will be released from prison next month. A team of officers, including myself, managed to put Clay Roberts, and one of the other partners, Joe Randall behind bars. It seriously sucks that just as I catch the son, the father walks free. It feels like a never-ending cycle. There’s always someone in the group out of jail to continue running the meth labs. Prison gangs like this one, are always the hardest to crack down on.

  I gather all the documents and lock the file in my drawer before I get up and glance at Aiden. “You ready?”

  Today is the fourth anniversary of Laurie’s death, and there are still moments when I can’t believe she’s gone.

  “Yeah. Wyatt said he’d meet us at the cemetery.”

  Walking out of the station, we head over to our cars. After getting into my SUV and pulling out of the parking area, I follow behind Aiden’s truck.

  As we park our cars at the cemetery, Wyatt pulls up behind me. He climbs off his bike and walks over to where Aiden’s standing.

  Taking a minute, I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath before pulling the chain from where it was resting under the fabric of my shirt. I glance down at the two wedding rings, mine and Laurie's. It took me two years before I managed to remove the band from my finger, and since then I’ve worn both on the chain around my neck.

  The memories I have of her haven’t faded at all. Instead, it feels as if my love for her keeps growing as time passes by. Laurie was the love of my life and the four years we had together were the happiest of my entire life.

  I haven’t dated another woman since I lost my wife. Not because it would feel like I was betraying her memory, but because I just haven’t felt any kind of attraction toward anyone.

  The only women I’m close with are my sister-in-law, Emma, and my mother-in-law.

  I was fifteen when my parents got divorced and went their separate ways. I haven’t spoken to my mother in months, and last I heard she was in Paris.

  I have a strained relationship with my father because I didn’t become a prosecutor like him, but instead joined the police force. Even though he doesn’t approve of my career choice, he still makes an effort to keep in contact with me which is more than I can say for my mother.

  I tuck the chain back under my shirt and getting out of the car, I glance at the two men who mean the world to me. The Holden’s have never treated me like I was nothing more than an in-law but instead embraced me as one of their own.

  Wyatt smiles at me as I join them and gives me a quick pat on the shoulder before we walk toward Laurie’s grave.

  Stopping in front of her final resting place, we remain silent for a couple of minutes before Aiden breaks the silence. “We were walkin’ home from school one day when an older kid started to look for trouble. He kept shovin’ me, and the next minute Laurie jumped onto his back and started pummelin’ him. Even though we were twins, she was easily a head shorter than me, but that didn’t stop her from tryin’ to protect me.”

  Wyatt lets out a chuckle. “I remember that day. Mom was so angry at her for giving the guy a black eye.”

  A smile pulls at the corner of my mouth because that’s just how Laurie was, always standing up for everyone. She could never turn a blind eye to someone who needed help.

  “She always let me have the last taco,” Wyatt adds his own memory of his sister.

  “She loved her tacos,” I murmur.

  “Yeah.” A loving smile stretches over his face even though there’s a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

  We spend a couple of minutes sharing memories of Laurie and remembering the amazing person she was before heading back to where we left our vehicles.

  As I open the door, Wyatt asks, “How’s the new place?”

  Two months ago, I moved out of the house I shared with Laurie, and I’m still not sure I did the right thing.

  “It’s okay, still doesn’t feel like home,” I answer honestly. There aren’t any memories of Laurie between the new walls. Only after I moved, did I realize how often I used to walk into a room and get lost in a memory of her. I’d see her cooking, or doing the laundry. While
getting ready for bed, I could picture her snuggled in for the night as she read a book.

  Aiden places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “It’s time for you to move on.”

  I let out a silent burst of laughter. “Sometimes I wonder whether there’s such a thing as the right time to move on. It’s been four years, and I can still hear her laughter. I can still see her face clearly.”

  Standing between my brothers, the familiar feeling of loss fills my chest.

  “A love like ours can’t be erased by death. Half of my heart went with her.”

  After a moment Aiden asks, “Changin’ the subject, but you don’t mind gettin’ Chloe from the airport?”

  “Not at all.” Pulling my phone from my pocket, I glance down at the photo of Chloe Emma sent earlier. Unfortunately, Emma and Aiden have an appointment at the hospital which falls around the same time as Chloe’s arrival. I offered to pick her up so Emma won’t worry.

  “Emma said she sent your photo to Chloe, so she’ll know what you look like.”

  I take in the brown curls and sparkling brown eyes staring up at me from the screen, and something about her reminds me of Wyatt. “What’s she like?”

  Emma used to be skittish around me, but over the past couple of months, she’s become comfortable which I’m thankful for. She’s the woman Aiden loves, so it’s important for me to get along with her.

  “Chloe? Emma says she’s the life of the party. When I met her, she came across as a pretty decent person.”

  Hearing the words, I realize why she reminds me of Wyatt. There’s a mischievous glint in her eyes.

  I smile and show the photo to Wyatt. “She’s got the same mischievous look in her eyes you have.”

  “Yeah?” Wyatt glances at Chloe, then says, “She’s quite a looker.”

  I nod as I begin to climb into the car. I attach my phone to Bluetooth, then look back to my brothers. “I better get going. I’d rather be early than have her wait for me.”