False Perceptions Read online

  My mind spins with desperation, and a hysterical sob bubbles up my throat. I swallow hard on the panic, refusing to break down seconds before they kill me.

  Even in death, I can’t give up.

  I focus on the most basic thing I can think of and start to recite the alphabet.

  I won’t give them the satisfaction of crushing me, even if it’s the last thing I do.

  “A,” I whisper as Bearded-Man keeps roaring demands and I’m dragged toward the cooler. Oh shit, they’re going to dunk my head in the icy water.

  I’m going to drown. I’ve heard that it’s a peaceful way to go. It could be worse.

  I tell myself the lies as I continue to cling to the alphabet.

  It’s mundane. It’s safe. Keep reciting it.

  “B,” I say a little louder as I try with all my might not to get dragged down in the waves of hysterics that threaten to engulf me.

  “Hold up,” Bearded-Man commands as he crouches next to me. “What’s that, Emilie?”

  “C,” I grind the letter out while looking him dead in the eyes.

  I won’t break, fucker!

  “Put her inside,” he barks.

  Instead of being hauled to the cooler, the masked men stop in front of the weird cabinet. It can’t be bigger than a child’s dresser. They slide the front open, and when I’m wrenched closer, my fight instinct kicks into overdrive.

  “D,” I scream as I struggle against the hold they have on my arms. “E,” I kick wildly, and the second they let go of my arms, I try to crawl away.

  “F,” I shriek as I’m grabbed and lifted to the opening of the box. I’m cruelly shoved inside, the wood scraping at my legs and arms. I grab hold of the door as they try to slide it closed.

  “G,” I cry as I cling to the wood with all my strength, but I’m too weak to stop them from shutting me inside this cramped box.

  No. No. No!

  “H,” I sob as my fingers slip and the door shuts in my face.

  “I,” I gasp as I try not to think about the fact that I’ve just been crammed into a tiny box.

  I’m alive. They didn’t kill me. I can endure this.

  “Everyone breaks, Emilie. You’re going to give up eventually,” Bearded-Man says calmly from the other side of the door.

  “J.”

  “K.”

  “L.”

  As the room grows quiet on the other side of the wooden door, I continue to whisper the alphabet to myself over and over.

  My eyes are wide as they dart around the darkness. My heart is beating so fast, I can hear it all around me. The shift dress I wore to the rally is bunched around my thighs as I’m squashed into an awkward fetal position.

  I bite my bottom lip hard to keep from crying.

  “M.”

  Breathe. Focus on your breaths.

  “N.”

  Focus on your heartbeat.

  “O.”

  You’ll get through this. You’re strong.

  “P.”

  Don’t give up.

  CHAPTER 6

  HAYDEN

  I watch as Evie hugs each of my teammate's goodbye. We’re about to leave for a mission that should take no longer than two weeks. It’s hard on all of us. It’s the first time we’ll be leaving Evie for so long.

  When Evie turns to face me, I force a brave smile to my lips.

  “I’m going to miss you,” Evie whispers, and the look on her face almost makes me say fuck it all. But I can’t do that. My team is counting on me to have their backs.

  “I’ll miss you too.” I pull her against my chest for a hug. “It’s just two weeks then I’ll be back.”

  Her bottom lip starts to tremble as she nods.

  “I’ll be back, Evie,” I say with so much confidence and determination that she has no choice but to believe me.

  “You better.” She presses her face against my chest and wraps her arms around my waist. “I love you, Daddy.”

  “I love you, Evie,” I say right before I press a kiss to her wild curls.

  When I look back up my eyes meet Rhett’s. “Look after my daughter,” I say to him as I let her go.

  Rhett quickly takes a step forward and places an arm around Evie’s waist.

  As he pulls her into his side, he says, “Always, Sir.”

  Reaching for Evie, I caress a tear from her cheek with the back of my knuckles.

  “I’ll call you when I land at the base.”

  She nods as she does her best to swallow her tears down.

  I hate leaving her like this but being a Navy SEAL is what I do. It’s hard because it’s the first time I’m leaving Evie for so long. I’ve only been away for the odd weekend since I got her back but we have to return to normal now. I can’t expect my commander to give me more time off, not if I’m going to take time for Evie’s wedding next year.

  Taking one last look at my beautiful daughter, I turn around and walk to where my team is waiting.

  “Let’s get this over with,” Max growls.

  The flight to the base we’ll be operating from is a quiet one, each of us busy with our own thoughts. Well, as quiet as it can be being stuck in the ass end of a Boeing. The engines roar, filling the rear with a thunderous growl as the beast of machinery carries us high in the air.

  The guys have grown close to Evie over the past few weeks. They’ve accepted my daughter as their own.

  Max never married and only has his mom. He loves that woman more than life itself, and every time we have to go on a mission, I can see that it’s getting harder for him to leave her behind. She’s not yesterday’s child anymore, and after the stroke, he’s been especially worried over her health.

  “Evie will check in on your mom,” I remind him, trying to set his mind at ease. He nods, forcing a weak smile to his lips.

  Axel has a big family, but he’s especially close to his cousins. I give Axel a chin lift when our eyes meet.

  Mike recently celebrated his two–year anniversary. He’s the only one in the group that’s married.

  When he lifts his head and looks at me, he says, “Gabs is pregnant.”

  Surprise makes my eyebrows dart up. “When did you find out?”

  “She told me yesterday after we got the call. She’s already three months along.”

  “Congrats, dude,” Dave says, being the first to shake Mike’s hand.

  We each take a turn to congratulate our teammate before Axel asks, “Three months? Doesn’t she have morning sickness?”

  Mike shakes his head. “There were no signs, and it’s not like we planned to have a kid. The past two weeks she felt a little out of sorts, and she started to gain weight even though her diet hasn’t changed. So yeah, turns out we’re expecting.”

  “That’s really good news, Mike. You’re going to be a great dad,” I say.

  “Yeah, but it’s a scary thought knowing that in six months I’ll be responsible for a little being that weighs less than my rifle.”

  “One time Jules came over, and she was changing Jordan’s diaper. The little dude went off like a sprinkler system. I shit you not, he shot a stream so far we were all running for cover.”

  We chuckle at Axel’s story. Jules is one of his cousins that he’s close to, and ever since she had Jordan, Axel has tried to help out where he can. The man lives for his family.

  “He got me right in the back. I had a wet stripe all the way down my ass.”

  That makes us laugh, and it eases some of the tension.

  “She’s holding off on the first ultrasound until I get home so we can see our baby together for the first time.”

  “Do you want to know the sex or are you going to wait?” Dave asks.

  “I’m not sure. I’ll just be happy when my kid is born healthy. I don’t really care whether it’s a boy or girl.”

  We all fall quiet again, and I glance at Dave. He feels my eyes on him and smiles. Just like me, Dave has no one. Well, I had no one until Evie. That’s one of the things that tied us together. It
was always the two of us. I’m lucky that Dave and Evie get along. They’re both a huge part of my life.

  As the plane touches down, we all grab our bags. I stretch my arm out, and one by one the guys place their hands on top of mine.

  “There’s a fire burning inside all of us. A fierce, all-consuming instinct. A persistent will to forcefully drive yourself toward danger. Every time you drop to your knees, it’s a chance to push yourself harder. Giving up means dying without honor, and honor is the foundation I stand on. You do whatever you have to do to keep going. You do not give up. Fight. Fight until the fire inside of you is nothing but dead ashes scattered over the bodies of your enemies,” Dave recounts our creed.

  We wrote it together as a group, but with Dave being the team leader it’s his honor to recite it before we start a new mission.

  “We live, and we’ll die by our creed,” we all say together.

  “Let’s go kick ass,” Axel growls while he pulls his hand back.

  As we step off the plane, we leave our personal lives behind. On this base, we’re Navy SEALs. There’s no Dave, no Max, no Axel, and no Mike.

  There’s no Hayden Cole.

  Here we’re Falcon, Hawk, Buzzard, Owl, and Eagle.

  We’re hunters.

  We hunt cowards, criminals, terrorists, and monsters. America sleeps soundly because of men like us. If you fuck with an American, you fuck with us.

  We will hunt you down.

  CHAPTER 7

  EMILIE

  Ever since they shoved me in the box, it feels like I’ve been losing touch with reality.

  If I think about my current circumstances, the shivering gets so bad that every breath I take echoes loudly around me. My muscles tense to the point that the slightest movement hurts like hell.

  After reciting the alphabet for the longest time, I’ve moved onto colors.

  I have no concept of time, and they never switch off the light. I can’t sleep and at most zone out for a few minutes before my body jars against the ropes, and I’m yanked back to my horrific surroundings.

  There’s no reprieve from this nightmare.

  Besides fearing for my life, knowing that it can be ended any minute, I worry about my hands. I haven’t had feeling in my fingers since they strung me back up.

  Every day they torture me in a new way. It offers some relief that maybe they won’t stuff me back in that box again. But the methods they use get worse each day, and that brings a new worry about what they will do next.

  Since I’ve been here, I’ve only eaten half a sandwich and drank some orange juice. They never removed the remains of the sandwich and juice that’s scattered to my left. Even though it’s been lying on the floor in the oppressive heat, I still stare longingly at it.

  If only I could reach it.

  The now terrifyingly familiar screech of the door makes my body jerk. My chin rests on my collarbone as I have no strength to lift my head for long periods of time.

  “Look at me, Emilie,” Bearded-Man says.

  I’m starting to see a pattern to the way he treats me.

  First, he’ll be calm, demanding that I look at him. I think he does this so that I’m forced to face my dire reality.

  Then he’ll be nice, actually smiling.

  Does he do this thinking I’ll lower my guard? I prefer the yelling though. It’s what I expect from crazy people.

  And the yelling always follows, accompanied by some form of torture.

  Before he leaves, he’ll revert to being calm and telling me that he respects me but that I should give up.

  Over and above the physical torture, I think he’s using this strategy to break me mentally.

  Today I refuse to look at him. I might be exhausted, in pain, and starving, but I won’t give him anything.

  “Look. At. Me,” Bearded-Man bites out through gritted teeth.

  I suppress the urge to spit at him. I need the little moisture I have left in my mouth.

  I continue to stare at the plastic as I start to recite every color my worn mind can latch onto.

  White. The color of clouds.

  Blue. The color of the summer sky.

  Black. The way I like my room when it’s time to sleep. Any kind of light distracts me too much, and I’ll lie awake staring at it until I finally get up to unplug the device that’s responsible for the sliver of light.

  Pink. I don’t like pink. I’ll never wear anything pink. It doesn’t compliment my fair skin.

  Green. The color of grass. When last have I walked barefoot on grass? If I survive this, it’s one of the things I’ll do again.

  “Untie her,” Bearded-Man snaps.

  The second the masked men loosen the ropes my body sags to the floor. The pain pulsing through my arms is so intense that my fingers spasm.

  I try to curl my body around my arms, but Bearded-Man takes hold of my aching hands, and he yanks them out from under me.

  My body is flipped so that I’m lying on my stomach, and my arms are stretched out in front of me.

  One of the masked men starts to tie my ankles together. I try to send the meager strength I have down to my legs so I can kick him away, but it’s of no use. I’m too weak to fight them off.

  Fingers dig into my calves as he holds my legs down and with my body spread over the plastic sheet, I fear what will happen next.

  The first blow to the soles of my feet has my body jolting and my mouth dropping open in a silent scream.

  The second strike makes a broken cry tear up my throat. Unable to stop it I try to smother the sound against my arm.

  Gray. The color of half the clothes in my closet.

  The blows keep coming, and then something merciful happens. My soles grow numb, and I can’t feel the severe sting anymore.

  I’m not sure it’s a good thing, but at this moment it’s saving me from feeling the agonizing pain.

  Purple. The color of the quilt draped over the corner of my bed. Mom made it, and even though it doesn’t fit with the red and gray color scheme of my room, I always have it thrown over the foot of my bed.

  I’m only half aware of what’s happening as my body is dragged back up, and the rope is tightened again. I can’t feel the ground beneath my feet.

  “You’re strong, Emilie. I respect you for that. But everyone breaks at some point. There’s no shame in that. You might as well just give up.”

  Red. The color of my favorite fluffy blanket.

  Brown. The color of coffee. I like my coffee strong.

  Damn, I miss coffee.

  As the door slams shut behind them, I let out a smothered sob.

  I hope I get to taste coffee again.

  I hope I survive this so I can prove to these fuckers that I’m not everyone.

  I won’t break.

  I won’t give up.

  CHAPTER 8

  HAYDEN

  As we get to the base, we drop our bags in our designated rooms. Dressed in our DEVGRU combat uniforms, we head to the command center where Lieutenant Commander Foster is already waiting for us.

  “Good to be back, Sir,” Dave says as we walk into the room.

  “Lieutenant Slater,” Foster nods his head at us. “Take a seat, guys.”

  We all grab a chair as the wall in front of us lights up with two pictures of Emilie Swanson.

  “This is Emilie Swanson, daughter of Senator George Swanson. You all know he’s running for the presidency. Emilie was taken five days ago. Intelligence tells us she’s being used to force Senator Swanson to back out of the running for the presidency. The group responsible for the kidnapping are against Senator Swanson’s campaign to introduce stricter gun control laws.”

  I glance up at the screen, and my eyes settle on one of the photos of Emilie. Her smile is the first thing I notice. I can only hope we'll get to her in time. It would be a shame if she never smiled again.

  “She’s being held close to the border. She’s still stateside, so you all know how important it is that we get to her before they
move her to Mexico. I’ve put together a file with the map of the area Emilie Swanson is being held at and also some personal details about her. Take a look at it. Dave, let me know when you’re ready to head out. It’s time sensitive, so it needs to be soon. We can’t risk them moving her to a new location.”

  After the briefing, we all make our way to the mess hall where we grab some chow and spend time catching up with the men we’ve previously worked with on other missions.

  Later in the afternoon, we’re all seated around a table outside with the map spread out before us.

  “It looks pretty remote,” Axel says as he examines the layout of the area. “They’ll see us coming a mile away.” We watch as he checks something on his laptop. “Two nights from now there will be a new moon. That will be the best time to strike. Any other night the moonlight will be enough to give our position away.”

  “I’ll let the commander know,” Dave says, as he gets up to do just that.

  “This is a shit job,” Max grumbles. “There are too many risks.”

  I nod my agreement as my mind starts to process all the variables.

  “Mike. Max,” I say as I point to a small hill a distance from where Emilie Swanson is being held. “I think the hill would be the best spot for you to watch from.”

  “Yeah,” Mike agrees as he checks the distance. “I could make that shot.” He glances at Max.

  Max shakes his head. “It’s not about us being able to make those shots. With Mike and myself up on the hill, we’ll only be able to cover you from the front. Yeah, we’d be safe, but that would leave the rest of you exposed once you move toward the back of the building.”

  He’s right.

  We all stare at the satellite image of the area, looking for the best–case–scenario for the entire team.

  “The commander agrees with two nights from now. We’ll have the final intel tomorrow,” Dave says as he joins us again.

  “Good,” Axel grumbles then he points at a particularly rocky area. “With some camo one of you could cover us from this area. The only problem would be time. We’d all have to wait for you to get in place before moving in on the building.”